super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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