I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize