Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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