I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize