he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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