I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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