i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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