Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize