so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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