forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize