I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
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I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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