that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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