Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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