I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize