dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize