when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize