Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
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I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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