If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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