I have demons in me.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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