It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
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We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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