it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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