In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize