Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
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I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
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That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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