but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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