Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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