quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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