yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There r osticjed everywhere
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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