sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
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Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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