u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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