The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The Olympian is in my bed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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