He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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