Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize