Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize