the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize