So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
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The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
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IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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