dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize