Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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