I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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