so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
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Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
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It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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