I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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