I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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