You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize