Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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