Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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