After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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