What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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