I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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