I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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