2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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