I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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